Navigating Grief During the Holidays

As the holidays approach and the stores become busier,  so too can our minds as we reflect on what’s missing. The holidays have a way of making any loss feel more recent—perhaps because Christmas is full of sensory-laden memories that activate deep feelings of sadness and longing. And for many, this season brings up memories of family traditions that may no longer exist and loved ones who helped create them but are no longer here.

If you are grieving the loss of someone you love, the holidays can serve as a painful reminder of their absence. It’s okay to feel apprehensive, find yourself reminiscing, or feeling sad this time of year. The expectation of joy and togetherness can feel heavy when you’re experiencing grief, loss, estrangement, or other challenges.

It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and give yourself permission to grieve in your own way. You are not alone in this experience. Please consider these thoughts and suggestions as you navigate the holiday season:

What You are Feeling is Valid:

It’s okay to feel sad, angry, lonely, or any other emotion that arises. You don’t have to force yourself to feel happy if you’re not. Grief is not linear, and emotions will come and go like waves. Let them move through you without judgment.

Meet Overwhelm with Care:

The holidays often amplify feelings of loss. Set your expectations for this, and prepare to care for yourself in those moments.

• Pause and Breathe: When emotions feel overwhelming, take a moment to grounding yourself. Take a slow breath in through your nose, hold for a moment, and exhale fully through your mouth. As you breathe, notice five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
• Meet Yourself with Kindness: Remind yourself that grief is normal. Instead of feeling ashamed or frustrated, treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a close friend.

Set Realistic Expectations:

The holidays will likely bring highs and lows. It’s normal for grief to come and go unpredictably. Give yourself permission to experience the season as it is—not as the media depicts it.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It’s okay to step back, take breaks, or let some traditions go for now.

Honour the Loss by Creating Meaningful Moments:

Finding small ways to honour the person you’re missing can provide comfort and connection:

• Share a favourite story or memory with someone you trust or write about it
• Cook their favourite meal or savour a snack/dessert they enjoyed
• Light a candle or hang a special ornament to symbolize their presence in your heart
• Spend time in nature or in a quiet space, reflecting on the love you shared

These gestures can feel bittersweet, and that’s okay. Let them be both tender and healing.

Care for Yourself:

Grief impacts our heart, mind, and body. Be intentional about tending to your care:

• Rest: Allow yourself moments of quiet and stillness when you need them
• Nourishment: Choose healthy foods that comfort and sustain you - even small meals can support your energy. Stay hydrated
• Movement: A short walk or gentle stretch can help shift stagnant feelings and clear your mind
• Reflection: If you find peace in spiritual practices, light a candle, offer a prayer, or look up at the stars. Imagine your loved one’s presence in the beauty of the world around you.

Lean in to Connection & Support:

Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to manage it alone.

• Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or support group and share how you’re feeling—even if it’s just a saying, “This is really hard for me”
• If physical connection isn’t possible, seek out online communities where others share similar experiences. Knowing you’re not alone in your grief can lighten the emotional load

If you know someone who’s grieving, remember that simple gestures mean the most: listening without judgment, sharing a memory, or just being present.

Know Mixed Emotions Might be Present:

Grief is complicated. Moments of joy, laughter, or peace might arise during the holidays, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten or moved on—it’s a reflection of your capacity to hold love and sorrow at the same time. You can grieve deeply and still find beauty in the present moment.

Above All Else, Be Gentle with Yourself:

The holidays won't (and rarely can...) be perfect. Allow this season to be what it is, and focus on what feels meaningful to you. Give yourself permission to feel and heal at your own pace.
​
Be kind to yourself, breathe deeply, and remember: you are not alone. Thank you for being here.

#holidaygrief #grief #Christmas #loss #grievingduringtheholidays #griefjourney #mentalwellness #griefwork #grievingprocess