When it comes to our repertoire of emotion regulation strategies, our imagination is a powerful tool. Just as imagining worst case scenarios causes our body ramp up into activation, so too does it settle, when we imagine the good stuff, such as calming, peaceful, and safe imagery. An imaged safe place is one of these. Everyone needs a place where they can feel it's safe to be themselves, and each person’s safe place makes perfect sense just for them. It could be in the Swiss Alps, in a quiet country house, a cottage beside the ocean, a peaceful garden, or a cozy room. While these lovely places of comfort aren’t usually physically available to us when we need them most – we can still create a mental haven, accessible through imagery, and available to you whenever you need it. Having an inner safe place has proven effective in helping people cope with stress and even increases their sense of safety and comfort. The use of an imagined safe place is especially helpful for people who have experienced trauma. When fear, panic, or self-destructive thoughts become over-whelming, you can use your imagination to go to a restful inner sanctuary – a personal haven from the effects of trauma and other life stresses – to regain a sense of safety, to restore strength, and to achieve a renewal of spirit. Once you have grounded yourself with your safe place, you will find yourself feeling more equipped to deal those tough emotions or memories. For guided practice with safe place imagery, check out Guided peaceful place meditation (free on Insight Timer). Resources: Cohen, B. M., Barns, M. M., & Rankin, A. B. (1995). Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art: Drawing from the Centre. Miller, K. (2012). Mind-body attunement therapy: Clinical Strategies. Mind-Body Attunement Training Centre
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Taming your Monkey Learning to be focused in the present moment can be challenging. I don’t believe this is just the case for those who have experienced trauma, or for those with anxiety. I believe it is a symptom of fast-paced society, where we are driven to do more and where flashy technology and advertising vies for our attention. Often when we try to concentrate, our minds have a tendency to wander. It just takes some focused attention (and patience with yourself) to learn to be present and in the moment. A distracted mind has even been referred to as ‘monkey mind’. I imagine this as having a monkey contained in a room – he’d be jumping from one piece of furniture to another, climbing the ways and hanging on the curtain rod or blinds - and all the while chattering incessantly. It is in this way that our minds tend to do the same: engaging in an endless flow of dialogue, jumping from topic to topic. If you are trying to focus your attention in the present moment, please do not be discouraged if your mind wanders! It is natural. Everyone has ‘monkey mind’ from time to time! Reassure yourself that it takes practice to become mindful, to be in the moment and aware of your thoughts without judgment. If, while using a grounding or containment strategy, you notice your mind wanders, please be patient with yourself. It’s hard to learn a new skill; do not put yourself down or call yourself names. Most likely there have been enough people across your lifespan who have done that. Simply notice that it happened, be kind to yourself, and return to where you left off. Article originally posted 2014/02/20 posted by Susan Guttridge (susanguttridge.wordpress.com) Resources: Tolle, E. (2003). Stillness Speaks. Kabat-Zinn, J. (2005). Guided Mindfulness Meditation, Series 1. Anxiety and stress can affect the way you breathe. Holding your breath, as well as breathing rapidly or shallowly may be related to chronic anxiety, which can be a symptom of post-traumatic stress. Awareness and regulation of the quality of your breathing can have several positive effects:
So, if during a moment of calm, your exhale takes you to the court of 6, during a moment of emotional upset, you will want to stretch that exhale to the count of 8. Want to make that deep breathing more powerful? Add a Visualization to Increase Your Calm: For some people, it is helpful to pair deep breathing with a calming vision. As you are learning this technique, it may be helpful to visualize a ship floating on the sea. As you breathe in, waves wash up onto the shore and the ship bobs closer. It bobs close enough to the shore that you can clearly see its details: lettering on the bow, the colour of the sails, people on the deck, etc. As you exhale, the waves pull away from the shore and the ship bobs farther out of view. Or you may want to visualize a feather floating in the air, a balloon, and so forth. Because deep breathing involves the pulling of oxygen into the lower lungs first, for some people it is helpful to visualize a jar being filled with water. As the water is poured in, it splashes into the bottom of the jar, then rises to the top, overflowing over the rim and out onto your hands. The jar symbolizes your torso, and the water the oxygen you breathe. Resources: Exhale-plus-2 Idea adapted from Carolyn Costin, MA, M.ED, MFT (2011) Cohen, B. M., Barns, M. M., & Rankin, A. B. (1995). Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art: Drawing from the Centre Haskell, L. (2003). First Stage Trauma Treatment Mate, G. (2003). When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress Sgt. Charles E. Humes (2003). Lowering Pursuit-Induced Adrenaline Overloads http://www.pusuitwatchorg/stories/adrenaline.html Affect regulation refers to the ability to shift out of uncomfortable and overpowering emotional states to one that is more settled and balanced - calmer. It isn't about not feeling emotion - because emotion gives richness to our lives and each emotion brings with it valuable messages about our inner experiences and responses to external experiences. When we talk about learning emotion regulation, we are referring to developing the tools (or strategies) and resources necessary to recognize, observe, modulate, and cope with affects you may be experiencing (affect is another word for emotion). In developing these tools and skills, you will be better able to cope with disturbing emotions as they arise (such as grief, anxiety, anger, fear, frustration, etc.). Developing the ability to regulate affect begins with learning to identify emotional sensations within your body. These after often referred to as the "felt sense" of emotion. Learning to be present with the felt sense of emotion can be challenging for some people. In fact, I frequently hear people say that it's easier to label an emotion than it is to be present with emotion in the body. It may feel safer to label emotion from a distance; almost being objective with it; whereas tracking and describing how we feel emotion in our body can be difficult. It can even cause us to feel vulnerable. In these instances, it’s helpful to do do the work with a Counsellor in a safe and supportive environment. There are many strategies that fall into the category of emotion regulation, such as breath training, distraction, reappraisal, and containment strategies. Containment strategies are useful techniques to regulate affect because they can be effectively used to control intrusive trauma memories and images (flashbacks), and disturbing physiological sensations. These overwhelming memories, images, sensations, feelings, or thoughts can sometimes lead to harmful behaviour, making it extremely difficult for you to focus on healing. Learning effective containment skills can empower you and reassure you during difficult times. The term containment is not used here to refer to “stuffing” or ignoring your experiencing. Just the opposite, in fact. It’s about acknowledging the incredible power the distressing memories have, and creating the safe internal place from which to work through them. In her book “Healing from Trauma”, Jasmine Lee Cori describes it as “to contain something is to hold it, to create a place for it, in some ways to protect it”. “With containment… we learn to discriminate how much (emotion) we an handle at any given moment without overload. We understand that the point is to keep the feelings from getting so intense that they burn us. We learn to contain a feeling so that it doesn’t run roughshod over us but instead is given a place and listened to” — Jasmine Lee Cori Because every person is unique, there may be some affect regulation strategies that work well for you and others that do not. I'll be sharing some affect regulation strategies throughout this blog: try the strategies that sound interesting to you, approaching them with an open mind and a curious attitude. Try each strategy you select over a couple of days, and write in your journal what the strategy was like for you. If you'd like to learn more, check out the book Calm in the Storm: A Collection of Emotion Regulation Strategies You Can Use Right Now to Shift Out of Anxiety. Resources: Cori, J. L. (2008). Healing from Trauma, A Survivor’s Guide to Understanding your Symptoms and Reclaiming your Life. Haskell, L. (2003). First Stage Trauma Treatment: A guide for mental health professionals working with women. Article originally posted 2014/02/20 posted by Susan Guttridge (susanguttridge.wordpress.com)
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AuthorSusan Guttridge is a trauma-informed Master level Counsellor with the clinical designation of Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCPA). She has 20+ years experience providing individual and group therapy. Archives
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