When what you've witnessed leaves no words, or you wish to shield others from its burden. There's a "blind to therapist" option for your privacy. Your experiences are yours. We're here to help you process them, on your terms.You've seen things - things that are deeply personal, profoundly disturbing, or carry a weight you might not want to transfer to anyone else. It's a common, valid concern for first responders approaching therapy: "Do I have to re-live and describe every detail of the worst calls?" Or perhaps, "I don't want to put what I've seen into someone else's head."
First off, I must mention that as trauma-informed clinicians, we are extensively trained to be present with whatever you bring to session. We understand the unique challenges of your work and are capable of holding space for the most difficult experiences without judgment or personal distress. Our role is to be a steady, grounded presence for your healing. However, we also deeply respect your privacy and the very real burden of recounting certain events. This is exactly why the EMDR "Blind to Therapist" protocol exists. This method allows you to process highly disturbing, distressing, or morally injurious experiences without verbally sharing the specific details with your therapist. Your brain can process experiences, even those you choose not to share aloud. You hold the memory internally, and we guide your brain through its natural healing process using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping). Why is this protocol used? There are several reasons:
This protocol is a testament to the adaptability and client-centered nature of EMDR. Our goal is always to meet you where you are and provide the safest, most effective path to healing, respecting your boundaries every step of the way. Want to learn more about EMDR and how it can help you? Visit the Okanagan First Responder Clinician Network at https://www.livehappycounselling.com/clinician-network.html. We offer timely, accessible mental health support with EMDR-trained, occupationally aware clinicians. **No therapeutic modality is one-size-fits-all. If you’re curious about whether EMDR might be a good fit for you, it can be helpful to learn more and have a conversation with an EMDR-trained, occupationally aware clinician. #FirstResponderMentalHealth #EMDRTherapy #PTSDRecovery #Resilience #TraumaInformed #MentalWellness #FirstResponders #OperationalStressInjury #HelpIsAvailable #YouAreNotAlone #PrivacyInTherapy #MoralInjury #ConfidentialSupport #CounsellingForResponders #MentalWellbeing #FrontlineWellness #TorontoMentalHealth #FirstResponderSupport
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EMDR isn’t just for trauma processing — it’s a powerful tool to support first responders in building resilience and regulating emotions in high-stress roles.EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is well known as an effective therapy for processing overwhelming or distressing experiences that get ‘stuck.’ But for those in frontline and high-pressure professions, EMDR offers even more: it helps strengthen your ability to manage stress, navigate challenges, and stay grounded — both on and off the job.
Think of your emotional well-being as having a “window of tolerance.” When you’re within that window, you feel present, calm, and able to handle what comes your way. But after repeated exposure to critical incidents, high stress, or traumatic events, that window can narrow. You may feel overwhelmed (hyper-arousal) or checked out, numb, and disconnected (hypo-arousal). It’s as if your internal alarm system is either stuck on high alert or completely offline. EMDR helps widen that window. It’s not about ignoring emotions or toughing it out — it’s about helping your brain process experiences so you can respond thoughtfully rather than react automatically. This can mean:
For first responders, that means clearer decision-making under pressure, staying grounded in chaotic situations, and supporting your mental and physical health over the long term. It’s like building an internal muscle for handling daily stress and the big calls. Consider EMDR an essential part of your personal protective equipment. Just as you train your body for the demands of your work, EMDR helps train your mind to be more adaptable and resilient. And remember — seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Want to learn more about EMDR and how it can help you? Visit the Okanagan First Responder Clinician Network at https://www.livehappycounselling.com/clinician-network.html. We offer timely, accessible mental health support with EMDR-trained, occupationally aware clinicians. **No therapeutic modality is one-size-fits-all. If you’re curious about whether EMDR might be a good fit for you, it can be helpful to learn more and have a conversation with an EMDR-trained, occupationally aware clinician. #firstresponders #firstrespondermentalhealth #EMDR #traumainformed #resilience #emotionregulation #youarenotalone
But the opposite is actually true: self-compassion boosts resilience, lowers anxiety, and improves motivation. It leads to more authentic relationships—because we're no longer performing or pleasing just to feel worthy. Compassion isn’t something we earn. It’s a birthright. And it extends to every one of us.
So for today, could you turn your lens inward to notice how you speak to yourself? And, try asking, would you say that to a friend? If the words to self are harsh, try a simple reframe: “I’m doing the best I can in this moment”. Then pause for a breath, and notice what it feels like to let that be enough. #selfcompassion #compassion #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealthishealth There’s a lot of heaviness in the world right now, and if you’re feeling it, you’re not alone. I hope this article gives you a few simple ways to steady yourself and find moments of lightness. In this short post, I'll share three evidence-based habits you can start implementing in your day that can bolster your resiliency and support your mental wellness - they don’t take a lot of time and you can start including them today. When depression or low mood takes hold, we slide into a heightened focus on the negative. So, we need small, intentional practices to help rebalance this tendency and create moments of lightness, especially when we're going through difficult times. Hope, after all, is something we can cultivate, something we can train our brain's to notice. The 3 Practices to Bring Into Your Every Day1. Balance the Negativity Bias with a Morning Reflection Our brains are wired to scan for threats, especially when we’re feeling down. To counter this, start each morning by noting one good thing happening in your life or around you. This isn’t about ignoring struggles or pretending everything is fine—it’s about balance. Because, Even in difficult times, positive moments still exist. Recognizing them helps retrain the brain to see a fuller, more accurate outlook. 2. Gratitude As An Anchor Each evening, write down three things you’re grateful for and why they mattered to you. This isn't about forced positivity—it’s about gently shifting focus to see more clearly. Here's the really cool part: once this becomes a habit, your brain starts scanning for positive moments on its own—because it knows you’ll be reflecting on them later. This simple shift strengthens the neural pathways that support resilience and well-being over time. 3. Moments of Awe Awe connects us to something larger than ourselves and can offer a sense of perspective, even during tough times. Maybe it's noticing a beautiful sunset or the Northern Lights, watching a majestic bird in flight or a silly thing your pet tends to do. Or listening to your tunes and imagining how much fun that artist must have performing their songs and offering them out to their fans. Even a brief moment of awe can remind you that beauty and wonder exist alongside struggle. These practices won't take too much of your time each day. Building resilience doesn’t need to require huge, life-changing actions - these small, consistent shifts can have a lasting impact. I invite you to try these three habits for the next two weeks with an observer’s mindset: notice how you feel, what shifts (even subtly), and what feels different as you engage with these practices. To set yourself up for success, consider creating a small reminder - a note on your phone, a sticky note on your mirror, or an alarm labeled "Morning Reflection" or "Gratitude". And, if you give it a try, I’d love to hear about your experience! Drop a comment and let me know what you noticed along the way.
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 As the holidays approach and the stores become busier, so too can our minds as we reflect on what’s missing. The holidays have a way of making any loss feel more recent—perhaps because Christmas is full of sensory-laden memories that activate deep feelings of sadness and longing. And for many, this season brings up memories of family traditions that may no longer exist and loved ones who helped create them but are no longer here. If you are grieving the loss of someone you love, the holidays can serve as a painful reminder of their absence. It’s okay to feel apprehensive, find yourself reminiscing, or feeling sad this time of year. The expectation of joy and togetherness can feel heavy when you’re experiencing grief, loss, estrangement, or other challenges. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and give yourself permission to grieve in your own way. You are not alone in this experience. Please consider these thoughts and suggestions as you navigate the holiday season: What You are Feeling is Valid:It’s okay to feel sad, angry, lonely, or any other emotion that arises. You don’t have to force yourself to feel happy if you’re not. Grief is not linear, and emotions will come and go like waves. Let them move through you without judgment. Meet Overwhelm with Care:The holidays often amplify feelings of loss. Set your expectations for this, and prepare to care for yourself in those moments.
Set Realistic Expectations:The holidays will likely bring highs and lows. It’s normal for grief to come and go unpredictably. Give yourself permission to experience the season as it is—not as the media depicts it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It’s okay to step back, take breaks, or let some traditions go for now. Honour the Loss by Creating Meaningful Moments:Finding small ways to honour the person you’re missing can provide comfort and connection:
Care for Yourself:Grief impacts our heart, mind, and body. Be intentional about tending to your care:
Lean in to Connection & Support: Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to manage it alone.
Know Mixed Emotions Might be Present:Grief is complicated. Moments of joy, laughter, or peace might arise during the holidays, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten or moved on—it’s a reflection of your capacity to hold love and sorrow at the same time. You can grieve deeply and still find beauty in the present moment. Above All Else, Be Gentle with Yourself:The holidays won't (and rarely can...) be perfect. Allow this season to be what it is, and focus on what feels meaningful to you. Give yourself permission to feel and heal at your own pace. Be kind to yourself, breathe deeply, and remember: you are not alone. Thank you for being here. #holidaygrief #grief #Christmas #loss #grievingduringtheholidays #griefjourney #mentalwellness #griefwork #grievingprocess
 Typically, EMDR therapy occurs in weekly or bi-weekly sessions over an extended period. However, EMDR Intensives offer a more concentrated and accelerated treatment option. In this article, I'll be discussing the utility of EMDR intensive sessions. EMDR TherapyTo understand EMDR Intensives, let's start with a brief recap of what EMDR therapy is. Developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR is a psychotherapy technique aimed at helping individuals process distressing memories and traumatic experiences. The goal of EMDR is to diminish the emotional impact of these memories, fostering healthier emotional coping. This therapy involves a structured eight-phase approach, where clients, guided by a trained clinician, identify traumatic memories, target negative beliefs, and engage in bilateral stimulation to desensitize and reprocess these memories. Check out these articles for more information about EMDR therapy: EMDR IntensivesEMDR Intensives offer an alternative to the traditional EMDR format, enabling clients to complete the therapeutic process more rapidly. Unlike the typical weekly or bi-weekly sessions, EMDR Intensives involve several hours of therapy per day, often across consecutive days. The duration and frequency varies based on individual needs and tolerance levels. For instance, in my private practice, EMDR intensive sessions might occur twice a week for a a few consecutive weeks. In addition to working in private practice, I am also a clinician with the Davidson Operational Stress Recovery Program. In this program, program participants attend EMDR sessions 3 to 4 times weekly for 4 weeks, with a break between the second and third weeks. The benefits of EMDR intensives are significant, with many clients experiencing substantial progress in a relatively short time. As an EMDR clinician, I have to say it is a privilege to witness the incredible progress made by the courageous clients I have had the honor of working with, both in my private practice and through the Davidson Operational Stress Recovery Program. Their commitment to setting aside time for their healing and mental wellness is nothing short of remarkable. When clients engage in EMDR intensives, they immerse themselves in a process that can often yield the kind of progress that might otherwise take months to achieve with traditional weekly or bi-weekly sessions. The acceleration of this healing journey is a testament to the format and efficacy of the intensive, and to the strength and resilience of the individuals who embark on it. Observing the transformation as clients reclaim their lives rapidly, often with newfound hope and strength, is a profound reminder of the powerful impact of counselling therapy can have. Key BenefitsFrom my experience, here are some of the key benefits I've come to notice in doing EMDR intensives since 2019:
Concentration of Treatment: EMDR intensives allow for a focused and intense healing process over a shorter duration. This can be particularly beneficial for those seeking rapid relief/progress. Deeper Exploration: The extended session length permits deeper engagement with trauma and emotional experiences, often leading to more profound insights and quicker resolution. Minimized Interruptions: At times engagement in therapy can be interrupted by life events, meaning one might go weeks and even months between sessions. EMDR intensives offer a continuous, uninterrupted therapeutic experience. Tailored Approach: EMDR Intensives are adaptable in format and duration, catering to the specific needs, emotional tolerance, and preferences of each client, ensuring a personalized treatment experience. Immediate Support During Processing: Given the intensity of the therapy, having immediate and continuous support from a clinician can be crucial if challenging emotions or memories arise, providing a safety net during the reprocessing phases. Potential for Reduced Overall Cost: While the initial investment in intensives might be higher, the condensed nature of the therapy can mean a reduction in the total cost over time compared to traditional weekly sessions. In sum, EMDR intensives can offer an accelerated route to healing for individuals facing trauma and mental health challenges. This condensed therapy format has yielded faster and more significant results for many clients, which, I believe, makes it an attractive option for those seeking relief from distressing memories and emotional pain. Send me a message or learn more at www.livehappycounselling.com. Please know that no therapy is one size fits all. There are many layers and approaches in counselling psychology and to people's complex experiences. This article is about EMDR therapy and may be of interest to those wanting to learn more about how this therapeutic modality can help them. As with any therapeutic approach, it's crucial to work with a qualified EMDR therapist who can assess your needs and guide you through the intensive process to ensure a safe and effective healing journey. References: Bongaerts, H., Van Minnen, A., and de Jongh, A. Intensive EMDR to Treat Patients With Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: A Case Series. from the Journal of EMDR Practice and Research. (2017). Volume 11, Issue 2. Shapiro, R., Silk Forrest, M. (2013). EMDR: The Breakthrough Therapy for Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, and Trauma. Basic Books: New York. #EMDR #EMDRtherapist #counsellingpsychology #mindbodyconnection #emotions #counselling #counseling #therapy #EMDRclinician #therapist #traumatherapy #psychotherapy #livehappycounselling #psychotherapy #anxiety #trauma #operationalstress #emotions #emotionregulation The Mental Health Continuum Model is a valuable framework for understanding and monitoring one's mental well-being. This short article will review each component of the model, and then outline 4 ways first responders and public safety personnel can utilize it as a means to monitor mental well-being.  The Model Consists of 4 Colour-Coded Zones:🟢 GREEN: a state of optimal mental health; there’s no significant distress 🟡 YELLOW: early warning signs; when these symptoms and stressors emerge, they indicate the need for self-care and attention. For example, feelings of unease, anxiety, and irritability 🟠 ORANGE: functional impairment is more evident with symptoms that affect daily life. For example, sleep disturbances, difficulty regulating emotion, difficulty concentrating, or social withdrawal 🔴 RED: a state of emotional crisis. When things become overwhelming, it's crucial to seek assistance from professionals or support systems 4 Ways to Apply The Model in Your Daily Life:1️⃣ Self-awareness: Routinely check in with yourself. Are you in the GREEN, YELLOW, or beyond? Self-awareness fosters recognition of the early signs of stress, anxiety, or trauma, even before symptoms escalate. 2️⃣ Early intervention: At the YELLOW stage, take action! This might involve reaching out to a peer support network, speaking with a mental health clinician, and practising self-care techniques like mindfulness or exercise. 3️⃣ Normalize self-care: Know that seeking help is a sign of strength and courage, not weakness. When we embrace this perspective, we make it more acceptable to seek assistance and take breaks when needed, feeling supported rather than stigmatized. 4️⃣ Support network: Forge connections with colleagues and where it is safe to do so, share what you are experiencing. Doing so can strengthen your support network - a network that is instrumental in offering assistance and promoting a culture of understanding and empathy within your profession. Isolating self is a symptom of being overwhelmed - notice this behaviour as a sign that something needs to change and seek assistance when necessary. This model encourages self-awareness and proactive steps to maintain one's mental health, offering a practical guide for individuals to recognize and address their mental state effectively. Let this model empower you to proactively manage your mental health, to recognize and address the earliest signs of distress. Use it to promote a culture of mental health awareness and self-care, because ultimately, that will contribute to your overall well-being and resilience. References: Mental Health Continuum Model credit: The Mental Health Commisson of Canada First Responder Health Training, Emergency Worker Health #FirstResponders #MentalHealthMatters #ProfessionalCare #YouAreNotAlone #MentalHealthContinuum #WellnessJourney #mentalhealthishealth #shareitdontwearit In the midst of our fast-paced world, we often find ourselves caught up in a whirlwind of distractions, daily hurdles, and those pesky little stressors that, when combined, can leave us feeling somewhat disconnected from what truly matters in our lives. It's almost as if we're running on autopilot, letting life happen to us rather than seizing the reins as the authentic creators and directors of our own destinies. When the scales of life tip towards imbalance, when stress creeps in, or when a general sense of dissatisfaction lingers, it's not uncommon to feel adrift from our core values. Our values are the quiet, underlying principles that define what matters to us. They're kind of like the invisible threads that weave the fabric of our existence. Values provide us with direction, acting as the framework upon which we build our lives. In moments when we stand at crossroads, uncertain of which path to choose, it's our values unfurl before us like a trusted roadmap, guiding us toward authenticity and purpose. So, as we welcome 2024, I extend a heartfelt challenge to you: let's endeavour to live each day steered by an awareness of what holds significance to us—your core values. Here's How:1. Identify your Authentic Values: Explore the following list of values, and choose the top 6 that represent your authentic values  2. Embody the Meaning: Dive deeper into the meaning of each value you selected: look up the definition of the word, and seek to understand its essence and significance. 3. Align your Choices and Actions: Ask yourself, what does it truly mean to embody this value? How can you infuse it into every facet of your daily existence? And, consider how you'll translate each of these values into daily action. Actions speak louder than words, after all. 4. Devise a Plan to Stay on Track: To be intentional with living your values, create a check-in routine. Whether it's once a week or once a month, this reflection is crucial. If you're concerned about forgetting, here are 3 suggestions for how to remember to check in:
A few final points to remember:
Living your values invites deeper self-awareness into all you do - you foster a greater sense of integrity with self, congruence, and fulfilment. I am so excited for the magic to unfold, as you create your daily life in ways that align with your values and aspirations. I'd love to hear what this exercise was like for you - leave a comment, or better yet, let me know what your top 6 values are! 
In the journey of emotional healing, understanding the felt sense of emotion is a cornerstone. Somatic awareness refers to the conscious perception and attention to bodily sensations. These sensations are the embodiment of emotion because emotions are not solely mental states; they are also deeply intertwined with physical experiences in the body. Somatic awareness plays a key role in understanding and processing emotions. Somatic awareness is an integral part of trauma treatment and is central to EMDR therapy.  The Mind and Body of Emotion Emotions are not just abstract concepts; they have physical manifestations. For example, anger might manifest as muscle tension or shallow breathing; fear might lead to an increased heart rate, sweating, or a sensation of tightness in the chest; and happiness might manifest as a sense of lightness or warmth. We can gain deeper insight into our emotional state by becoming aware of these physical cues. This awareness is more than just an intellectual exercise; it's a path to deeper emotional understanding, self-awareness, and healing. Tracking the Felt Sense of Emotion Learning to track the felt sense of emotion is a critical skill in emotional regulation, involving a keen awareness and understanding of one's bodily sensations that accompany emotions. And, becoming attuned to the subtle changes within the body that signal emotional shifts is a core feature of EMDR. A Gentle Approach to Somatic Experiencing Here's a simple guide to start noticing your body's emotional signals:
Overcoming Discomfort If this process feels uncomfortable, remember it's a natural part of emotional growth. Start with momentary noticing and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable with the practice. It’s important to be patient and kind to yourself through this process. Working with a Counsellor - Don't Go It Alone! While these techniques can be practiced independently, working with a Counsellor can be incredibly beneficial. A Counsellor can provide guidance, support, and personalized strategies to help you navigate and understand your emotional landscape more effectively. Waking Up the Nervous System For those who have a habit of suppressing or avoiding emotions, gently stimulating the nervous system can be beneficial. This helps to 'wake up' the nervous system from shutdown. Here are some methods:
Remember, you know yourself best. Listen to your body, and use what feels right for you.
The Journey Toward Emotional Awareness Learning to regulate emotions isn't an innate skill; it's something we acquire over time, often through guidance and practice. Without such learning opportunities, becoming aware of our emotional sensations can seem overwhelming. Initially, if we haven't been taught to recognize and sit with our emotions without feeling overpowered by them, our instinct might be to push these feelings away, ignore them, or seek distraction. Over time, these avoidance strategies can become deeply ingrained, making the idea of facing intense emotions intimidating. Feeling uncertain, uncomfortable, or even overwhelmed when starting to notice and describe emotional sensations in your body is entirely expected. It's akin to the early stages of learning any new skill, where everything feels unfamiliar and challenging. The key is to recognize and stay present with these emotional sensations despite the discomfort. In light of this, EMDR therapists introduce emotional and somatic awareness gradually. It's a process that respects your pace, gently encouraging the exploration of the felt sense of emotion and learning to observe their rise and fall. This gentle approach aims to build your comfort with naming and noticing these sensations, thereby enhancing your ability to remain grounded in the present moment. Through this supportive framework, you'll gradually develop a more profound capacity to engage with emotions, transforming what might once have seemed daunting into a source of strength and insight.
Part 1: Understanding FOMOFear of missing out is an anxiety about missing out on rewarding experiences that others seem to be having. In the highly digital world we live in, where social media constantly displays snapshots of other people's lives, this feeling is amplified. What we see on social media is far from the complete picture. It's akin to watching only the highlights of a sports game, missing out on the timeouts, mistakes, or less exciting moments. People tend to share their best, most picturesque experiences online. Intellectually, we understand that life isn’t a non-stop series of perfect moments. But emotionally, when we see images of others’ activities or when we feel left out, the sensation of missing out can feel overwhelmingly intense and emotionally painful. Why Are We So Impacted by FOMO?Tara Brach, a renowned mindfulness expert, sheds light on this with her insights on social comparison: We often compare our own lives with those we see on social media, potentially leading to feelings of inadequacy or anxiety. This comparison isn’t limited to activities; it extends to lifestyles and achievements as well. Being social creatures, we have an innate desire to connect and feel included. We fear missing out on experiences that we believe are crucial for maintaining our social bonds. Additionally, factors like low self-esteem and insecurities can predispose some individuals to a heightened need for external validation. In such cases, a person might feel compelled to partake in specific events or activities to feel valued or accepted. This attachment to external approval fuels FOMO, where social recognition becomes a significant source of self-esteem. Sarah Peyton offers a compelling neurobiological perspective. She discusses the concept of alarmed aloneness — our brains are hardwired for connection and warmth in relationships. When we experience disconnection or isolation, our brain can trigger a state of alarm, initiating stress responses and potentially leading to feelings of anxiety and fear. Thus, FOMO isn’t solely about missing events or experiences; it's also about missing essential social connections and interactions that are crucial for our emotional and neurological health. In the realm of social media, where an idealized version of connectivity is often portrayed, this sense of alarmed aloneness can be exacerbated, intensifying the feelings associated with FOMO. Part 2: Coping Strategies for Immediate ReliefThe following information is designed to combat the intense anxiety often triggered by FOMO. These steps work wonders because they anchor you back into the present moment, pulling your mind away from the "what ifs" and "what could have beens." A mind that frequently wanders, especially to thoughts of potential missed experiences, isn’t fully in the here and now. This lack of presence can heighten feelings of FOMO, as you’re not completely immersed in your current experiences, leading to a persistent sense of missing out. 1) Acknowledge the Feeling: When contending the unsettling sensation of FOMO, it's crucial to first recognize and accept your emotions. This initial step of acknowledgment is vital. Often, there's a natural tendency to suppress uncomfortable emotions, attempting to push them aside. However, this approach is counterproductive. Suppressing emotions doesn't eliminate them; instead, it can cause these feelings to resurface in unexpected and potentially harmful ways. And the act of suppression requires significant mental effort and energy, which can be exhausting and detrimental to our overall well-being. So rather than fighting these feelings, embrace a stance of awareness and acceptance. Acknowledge your anxiety by mentally noting it: "Hey, I see you, anxiety. I understand why you're here, but right now, you're not serving me." This approach not only conserves your mental energy but also puts you in a position to manage your emotions more effectively, paving the way for healthier coping strategies. Remember, the goal isn't to eradicate these feelings but to acknowledge and understand them, reducing their power over you and allowing for more constructive emotional regulation. 2) Breathe: Deep breathing is an effective tool for soothing your nervous system and can act as a reset for your brain. When you engage in deep breathing, you're essentially signalling to your body that you're safe and okay. This practice helps shift your body from a state of heightened alertness, often triggered by stress or anxiety, to a state of calm. The mechanism behind this is rooted in our physiology. Deep and slow breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which runs from the brain through the face and thorax to the abdomen. This stimulation activates the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the 'rest and digest' system. It counteracts the 'fight or flight' response of the sympathetic nervous system, associated with stress and anxiety. Deep breathing decreases heart rate and blood pressure, thereby reducing stress levels. One effective technique for deep breathing is the 4-7-8 method. It's straightforward and powerful in its simplicity:
Click here for the YouTube video of this article, with a guided practice of 4-7-8 This rhythmic pattern of breathing not only helps in calming your nervous system but also brings your attention back to the present moment, anchoring you in a state of mindfulness. It's a practical, quick, and easy method to regain control over your emotional state, particularly useful for shifting out of anxiety . 3) Movement: Having acknowledged your emotions and utilized deep breathing to ground yourself in the present, you might still find yourself grappling with the agitation stirred by FOMO. In such moments, when anxiety feels overwhelming, introducing physical movement can be incredibly beneficial. Movement helps because when we experience emotions like anxiety, our bodies often enter a state of heightened arousal as part of the 'fight or flight' response. This state is characterized by increased energy and tension in the body. Movement allows us to use that energy, facilitating a release of tension and helping to reset our nervous system. Engaging in physical activity stimulates the production of endorphins, our body's natural mood elevators, which can have a calming effect on our mind. The type of movement that works best can vary from person to person. The key is to find a form of movement that feels good and suits your current state. It's not about intensity or duration; it's about movement as a tool to help discharge emotional activation and restore a sense of balance in your nervous system. 4) Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is the art of being kind and understanding toward ourselves, especially in times of difficulty or stress. It's about acknowledging our feelings without judgment and offering ourselves the same kindness we would to a good friend. What you need to know is that the way you feel when you are experiencing FOMO is normal. These emotions, as intense as they may be, are a normal part of the human experience. It's vital, therefore, to refrain from self-criticism or negative self-talk. And most importantly, if you're feeling urges to harm yourself in any way, please remember that there are healthier ways to find relief.
Start by taking a deep breath and acknowledging the urge is there, without judgment of self. Observe it as an outside observer might, noting its intensity and where you feel it in your body. Keep breathing deeply, anchoring yourself in the present. Remind yourself that urges are temporary; like waves, they will dissipate. As you continue to breathe and observe, you'll notice the urge losing its power, diminishing like a wave receding back into the ocean. This process empowers you to handle distress without resorting to harmful behaviours, fostering resilience and a sense of control over your emotional world." Remember, you're not in this alone. Reach out to someone you trust. - a family member, a friend, a counsellor, or a support line. Sometimes, the simple act of voicing your feelings can significantly diminish their intensity. If you have the option to reach out to a family member, this may be your opportunity to Deepen Connections: talking to them may provide you with a shift in focus, which can alleviate anxiety and fear of missing out, enabling you to value and cherish your current moment Part 3 - Creating a Positive Experience for SelfImagine this scenario: you've chosen to stay in, and initially, it feels a bit uncomfortable, maybe even boring. You might feel like you're missing out on a fun gathering with friends. But here's where that old perspective shifts: sometimes, the most rewarding company you can have is your own. Learning to enjoy your own company isn't just about passing time; it's about becoming a friend to yourself, embracing self-connection and mindfulness. And, this ability to befriend self is an essential skill. After all, you are the one constantly in your life. Embracing solitude as an opportunity for self-discovery and enjoyment is a habit worth cultivating. I've even given it a fun name for you. This transformative concept will now forever be referred to as MOMO - which stands for Mindfulness of Missing Out: where we will emphasize being mindful and present in the moments you choose for yourself, instead of worrying about what you're not participating in. Here's how to set up your time: Be Intentional
Be Realistic
Be Compassionate
I'm excited for you to move beyond the emotional distress FOMO can bring, and to experience the joy and satisfaction of befriending yourself. It's a transformative process that I believe will bring you great peace and contentment.
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AuthorSusan Guttridge is a trauma-informed Master level Counsellor with the clinical designation of Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCPA). She has 20+ years experience providing individual and group therapy. Archives
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