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There’s a lot of heaviness in the world right now, and if you’re feeling it, you’re not alone. I hope this article gives you a few simple ways to steady yourself and find moments of lightness. In this short post, I'll share three evidence-based habits you can start implementing in your day that can bolster your resiliency and support your mental wellness - they don’t take a lot of time and you can start including them today. When depression or low mood takes hold, we slide into a heightened focus on the negative. So, we need small, intentional practices to help rebalance this tendency and create moments of lightness, especially when we're going through difficult times. Hope, after all, is something we can cultivate, something we can train our brain's to notice. The 3 Practices to Bring Into Your Every Day1. Balance the Negativity Bias with a Morning Reflection Our brains are wired to scan for threats, especially when we’re feeling down. To counter this, start each morning by noting one good thing happening in your life or around you. This isn’t about ignoring struggles or pretending everything is fine—it’s about balance. Because, Even in difficult times, positive moments still exist. Recognizing them helps retrain the brain to see a fuller, more accurate outlook. 2. Gratitude As An Anchor Each evening, write down three things you’re grateful for and why they mattered to you. This isn't about forced positivity—it’s about gently shifting focus to see more clearly. Here's the really cool part: once this becomes a habit, your brain starts scanning for positive moments on its own—because it knows you’ll be reflecting on them later. This simple shift strengthens the neural pathways that support resilience and well-being over time. 3. Moments of Awe Awe connects us to something larger than ourselves and can offer a sense of perspective, even during tough times. Maybe it's noticing a beautiful sunset or the Northern Lights, watching a majestic bird in flight or a silly thing your pet tends to do. Or listening to your tunes and imagining how much fun that artist must have performing their songs and offering them out to their fans. Even a brief moment of awe can remind you that beauty and wonder exist alongside struggle. These practices won't take too much of your time each day. Building resilience doesn’t need to require huge, life-changing actions - these small, consistent shifts can have a lasting impact. I invite you to try these three habits for the next two weeks with an observer’s mindset: notice how you feel, what shifts (even subtly), and what feels different as you engage with these practices. To set yourself up for success, consider creating a small reminder - a note on your phone, a sticky note on your mirror, or an alarm labeled "Morning Reflection" or "Gratitude". And, if you give it a try, I’d love to hear about your experience! Drop a comment and let me know what you noticed along the way.
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 As the holidays approach and the stores become busier, so too can our minds as we reflect on what’s missing. The holidays have a way of making any loss feel more recent—perhaps because Christmas is full of sensory-laden memories that activate deep feelings of sadness and longing. And for many, this season brings up memories of family traditions that may no longer exist and loved ones who helped create them but are no longer here. If you are grieving the loss of someone you love, the holidays can serve as a painful reminder of their absence. It’s okay to feel apprehensive, find yourself reminiscing, or feeling sad this time of year. The expectation of joy and togetherness can feel heavy when you’re experiencing grief, loss, estrangement, or other challenges. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and give yourself permission to grieve in your own way. You are not alone in this experience. Please consider these thoughts and suggestions as you navigate the holiday season: What You are Feeling is Valid:It’s okay to feel sad, angry, lonely, or any other emotion that arises. You don’t have to force yourself to feel happy if you’re not. Grief is not linear, and emotions will come and go like waves. Let them move through you without judgment. Meet Overwhelm with Care:The holidays often amplify feelings of loss. Set your expectations for this, and prepare to care for yourself in those moments.
Set Realistic Expectations:The holidays will likely bring highs and lows. It’s normal for grief to come and go unpredictably. Give yourself permission to experience the season as it is—not as the media depicts it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It’s okay to step back, take breaks, or let some traditions go for now. Honour the Loss by Creating Meaningful Moments:Finding small ways to honour the person you’re missing can provide comfort and connection:
Care for Yourself:Grief impacts our heart, mind, and body. Be intentional about tending to your care:
Lean in to Connection & Support: Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to manage it alone.
Know Mixed Emotions Might be Present:Grief is complicated. Moments of joy, laughter, or peace might arise during the holidays, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten or moved on—it’s a reflection of your capacity to hold love and sorrow at the same time. You can grieve deeply and still find beauty in the present moment. Above All Else, Be Gentle with Yourself:The holidays won't (and rarely can...) be perfect. Allow this season to be what it is, and focus on what feels meaningful to you. Give yourself permission to feel and heal at your own pace. Be kind to yourself, breathe deeply, and remember: you are not alone. Thank you for being here. #holidaygrief #grief #Christmas #loss #grievingduringtheholidays #griefjourney #mentalwellness #griefwork #grievingprocess
The Mental Health Continuum Model is a valuable framework for understanding and monitoring one's mental well-being. This short article will review each component of the model, and then outline 4 ways first responders and public safety personnel can utilize it as a means to monitor mental well-being.  The Model Consists of 4 Colour-Coded Zones:🟢 GREEN: a state of optimal mental health; there’s no significant distress 🟡 YELLOW: early warning signs; when these symptoms and stressors emerge, they indicate the need for self-care and attention. For example, feelings of unease, anxiety, and irritability 🟠 ORANGE: functional impairment is more evident with symptoms that affect daily life. For example, sleep disturbances, difficulty regulating emotion, difficulty concentrating, or social withdrawal 🔴 RED: a state of emotional crisis. When things become overwhelming, it's crucial to seek assistance from professionals or support systems 4 Ways to Apply The Model in Your Daily Life:1️⃣ Self-awareness: Routinely check in with yourself. Are you in the GREEN, YELLOW, or beyond? Self-awareness fosters recognition of the early signs of stress, anxiety, or trauma, even before symptoms escalate. 2️⃣ Early intervention: At the YELLOW stage, take action! This might involve reaching out to a peer support network, speaking with a mental health clinician, and practising self-care techniques like mindfulness or exercise. 3️⃣ Normalize self-care: Know that seeking help is a sign of strength and courage, not weakness. When we embrace this perspective, we make it more acceptable to seek assistance and take breaks when needed, feeling supported rather than stigmatized. 4️⃣ Support network: Forge connections with colleagues and where it is safe to do so, share what you are experiencing. Doing so can strengthen your support network - a network that is instrumental in offering assistance and promoting a culture of understanding and empathy within your profession. Isolating self is a symptom of being overwhelmed - notice this behaviour as a sign that something needs to change and seek assistance when necessary. This model encourages self-awareness and proactive steps to maintain one's mental health, offering a practical guide for individuals to recognize and address their mental state effectively. Let this model empower you to proactively manage your mental health, to recognize and address the earliest signs of distress. Use it to promote a culture of mental health awareness and self-care, because ultimately, that will contribute to your overall well-being and resilience. References: Mental Health Continuum Model credit: The Mental Health Commisson of Canada First Responder Health Training, Emergency Worker Health #FirstResponders #MentalHealthMatters #ProfessionalCare #YouAreNotAlone #MentalHealthContinuum #WellnessJourney #mentalhealthishealth #shareitdontwearit The Unspoken Language of the Body Many of us grew up in homes where emotions didn’t have words. You might remember moments when you felt sad and a caregiver said, “You must be hungry, let’s get you a snack.” Growing up in an Italian home, these were words I heard often from my well-meaning Nonna, who just loved to feed me and see me happy. Or, perhaps your experience was of feeling scared and being told, “Don’t be silly, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” These responses certainly weren’t meant to harm us. Most often, they came from caregivers doing their best - people who had never been taught to understand or name their own emotions. But over time, these moments quietly taught the body a powerful lesson: my feelings aren’t safe to show, maybe even not safe to feel. Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges (2011), helps us understand why this matters. Our nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety or danger, and not just in the world around us, but also in our relationships. When emotional expression is met with confusion, shame, or is dismissed, the nervous system learns to mute those signals. So that over time, we may lose touch with our body’s emotional vocabulary altogether. The good news is this: the body still speaks, communicating through sensations even when words fall silent. You can learn to understand its language again — slowly, kindly, and with curiosity. That’s the work of somatic awareness: learning to listen to what your body has been trying to tell you all along The Body as the First Language of Emotion
Long before we had words, we had sensations. A quickened heartbeat, a sinking feeling in the stomach, a lump in the throat — these were our earliest ways of knowing how we felt. Emotions aren’t abstract concepts floating in the mind; they’re physiological experiences that ripple through the body (van der Kolk, 2014). So you might see anger appear as heat in the face or tension in the jaw. Fear might flutter through the stomach or tighten the chest. And joy might soften the muscles and feel warm around the heart, expand the breath, and bring warmth to the skin. As trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk (2014) reminds us, emotions live in the body as much as in the mind. They are messages, sensations that want to be noticed. When we begin to tune in to these internal cues, not as symptoms to fix but as information to understand, we reconnect the mind and body in ways that are deeply healing. On a side note (shameless promotion for counselling coming up here…!), this is why therapies such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Somatic Experiencing, and mindfulness-based approaches place such emphasis on the felt sense (a concept that refers to how we experience or feel emotion in the body). Developing this inner listening allows us to recognize emotion as information rather than as something to fear or suppress. When It Feels Uncomfortable I am going to share with you a practice that you can try at home. However, first I want to mention that if turning your attention inward feels challenging, you’re not alone. For those who have experienced trauma, the body can feel like uncertain ground. After all, sensations were once the messengers of pain, fear, or loss, and your nervous system wisely learned to protect you by turning the volume down. From a polyvagal perspective (Dana, 2018; Porges, 2021), this is a survival response, not a flaw. The body’s defenses — numbing, distraction, shutting down — are ways of preserving safety when it once wasn’t available. So as you move into the practice that follows, please remember: there is no right pace, and you don’t need to feel anything specific. The goal isn’t to force awareness, but to invite it — gently, with compassion, and always with choice. You can also choose not to engage in the practice at this time, or to have a supportive person in your life try it with you — you know yourself best and you are in charge here. Reconnecting Through Somatic Awareness Somatic awareness simply means paying attention, intentionally and compassionately, to the sensations that arise in your body. It’s the practice of noticing what’s happening inside you with curiosity, without judgment, and without the need to change it. Here’s a simple practice, if you feel up for giving it a try: Start Small: Choose a quiet moment when you’ll have a couple of minutes to yourself. If it’s comfortable, lie down and settle in. As you center with your breath, bring to mind an emotion you’ve been feeling lately. Begin with something mild — perhaps irritation rather than anger, restlessness rather than grief. As you notice that emotion, gently turn your attention away from what sparked it and drop your awareness into your body. Notice where that emotion sits — perhaps in your chest, your stomach, your shoulders, your hands, or your face. Body Scan: Now that you’ve recognized where the emotion lives in your body, widen your awareness — like zooming out with a camera — to notice what else is present. Move your attention slowly from the top of your head through your body and down to your toes, simply noticing sensations, temperature, pressure, or areas of warmth and tightness (Kabat-Zinn, 1990). This sequence is intentional. Beginning with one small area helps you widen awareness gradually, prevent overwhelm, and reinforce curiosity over avoidance. The body scan becomes a way of broadening your focus safely, helping you notice not just where the emotion is held, but how it shifts and interacts with the rest of your system. Name What You Find: Try giving language to what you notice. You might say, “I feel heaviness in my chest,” or “there’s a fluttering in my stomach.” Even if you can’t name the exact emotion yet, describing the sensation itself begins to reconnect the circuit between mind and body (Lieberman et al., 2007; Gendlin, 1981; Siegel, 2012). Breathe with It: Finally, bring your attention back to your breath — feeling the inhale, then the easy release of the exhale. Slow, steady breathing signals safety to the nervous system (Porges, 2021) and helps you stay grounded as you explore. As you breathe, notice with curiosity: what has shifted? What is the felt sense of that emotion doing now? With practice, you may begin to recognize patterns — certain sensations that accompany particular emotions or memories. Over time, this awareness becomes an anchor. It helps you recognize the early whispers of emotion before they swell into overwhelm. Creating Conditions of Safety If you noticed that turning inward stirred up discomfort, that’s completely natural. For some, paying attention to the body can awaken sensations that have been quiet for a long time. There’s no rush here: the goal is to create conditions of safety that allow awareness to emerge naturally. Here are a few ways to help your nervous system settle:
Why Support Matters Learning to connect with emotion, including the felt sense of emotion can feel new and uncomfortable at first. If that is the case for you, please know that you don’t have to do the work alone. A counsellor trained in trauma-informed approaches can guide you in noticing sensations without overwhelm, helping you pace the process and build capacity for emotional regulation. In EMDR therapy, this often begins with resourcing: developing grounding practices and internal templates that create a sense of safety, nurturing, or protection. We might also anchor into supportive memories that evoke calm and stability (Shapiro, 2018)). These become inner anchors that allow you to explore emotional material without being swept away by it. Over time, you learn that emotions can rise and fall without destabilizing you — that they are waves, not undertows. The Journey Toward Emotional Awareness Learning to recognize and regulate emotion is something we can cultivate. If we weren’t taught how to feel and name our inner experiences, reconnecting with them later in life can feel awkward, even frightening. But with practice and safety, it becomes a path home to yourself. At first, you might only notice small moments — a flicker of warmth in the heart when you see a friend, a tightness in the chest before you speak your truth. These moments are the nervous system learning a new language: the language of emotion. As you continue, awareness deepens. You begin to trust that your body is not your enemy — it’s your ally, your internal compass. Each sensation, each breath, is an invitation to listen more closely. Because healing doesn’t always begin with words. Sometimes, it begins with the simple act of noticing — and realizing that your body has been speaking to you all along. References Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Gendlin, E. T. (1981). Focusing. Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428. Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. Porges, S. W. (2021). Polyvagal Safety: Attachment, Communication, Self-Regulation. Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (3rd ed.). van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.
Part 1: Understanding FOMOFear of missing out is an anxiety about missing out on rewarding experiences that others seem to be having. In the highly digital world we live in, where social media constantly displays snapshots of other people's lives, this feeling is amplified. What we see on social media is far from the complete picture. It's akin to watching only the highlights of a sports game, missing out on the timeouts, mistakes, or less exciting moments. People tend to share their best, most picturesque experiences online. Intellectually, we understand that life isn’t a non-stop series of perfect moments. But emotionally, when we see images of others’ activities or when we feel left out, the sensation of missing out can feel overwhelmingly intense and emotionally painful. Why Are We So Impacted by FOMO?Tara Brach, a renowned mindfulness expert, sheds light on this with her insights on social comparison: We often compare our own lives with those we see on social media, potentially leading to feelings of inadequacy or anxiety. This comparison isn’t limited to activities; it extends to lifestyles and achievements as well. Being social creatures, we have an innate desire to connect and feel included. We fear missing out on experiences that we believe are crucial for maintaining our social bonds. Additionally, factors like low self-esteem and insecurities can predispose some individuals to a heightened need for external validation. In such cases, a person might feel compelled to partake in specific events or activities to feel valued or accepted. This attachment to external approval fuels FOMO, where social recognition becomes a significant source of self-esteem. Sarah Peyton offers a compelling neurobiological perspective. She discusses the concept of alarmed aloneness — our brains are hardwired for connection and warmth in relationships. When we experience disconnection or isolation, our brain can trigger a state of alarm, initiating stress responses and potentially leading to feelings of anxiety and fear. Thus, FOMO isn’t solely about missing events or experiences; it's also about missing essential social connections and interactions that are crucial for our emotional and neurological health. In the realm of social media, where an idealized version of connectivity is often portrayed, this sense of alarmed aloneness can be exacerbated, intensifying the feelings associated with FOMO. Part 2: Coping Strategies for Immediate ReliefThe following information is designed to combat the intense anxiety often triggered by FOMO. These steps work wonders because they anchor you back into the present moment, pulling your mind away from the "what ifs" and "what could have beens." A mind that frequently wanders, especially to thoughts of potential missed experiences, isn’t fully in the here and now. This lack of presence can heighten feelings of FOMO, as you’re not completely immersed in your current experiences, leading to a persistent sense of missing out. 1) Acknowledge the Feeling: When contending the unsettling sensation of FOMO, it's crucial to first recognize and accept your emotions. This initial step of acknowledgment is vital. Often, there's a natural tendency to suppress uncomfortable emotions, attempting to push them aside. However, this approach is counterproductive. Suppressing emotions doesn't eliminate them; instead, it can cause these feelings to resurface in unexpected and potentially harmful ways. And the act of suppression requires significant mental effort and energy, which can be exhausting and detrimental to our overall well-being. So rather than fighting these feelings, embrace a stance of awareness and acceptance. Acknowledge your anxiety by mentally noting it: "Hey, I see you, anxiety. I understand why you're here, but right now, you're not serving me." This approach not only conserves your mental energy but also puts you in a position to manage your emotions more effectively, paving the way for healthier coping strategies. Remember, the goal isn't to eradicate these feelings but to acknowledge and understand them, reducing their power over you and allowing for more constructive emotional regulation. 2) Breathe: Deep breathing is an effective tool for soothing your nervous system and can act as a reset for your brain. When you engage in deep breathing, you're essentially signalling to your body that you're safe and okay. This practice helps shift your body from a state of heightened alertness, often triggered by stress or anxiety, to a state of calm. The mechanism behind this is rooted in our physiology. Deep and slow breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which runs from the brain through the face and thorax to the abdomen. This stimulation activates the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the 'rest and digest' system. It counteracts the 'fight or flight' response of the sympathetic nervous system, associated with stress and anxiety. Deep breathing decreases heart rate and blood pressure, thereby reducing stress levels. One effective technique for deep breathing is the 4-7-8 method. It's straightforward and powerful in its simplicity:
Click here for the YouTube video of this article, with a guided practice of 4-7-8 This rhythmic pattern of breathing not only helps in calming your nervous system but also brings your attention back to the present moment, anchoring you in a state of mindfulness. It's a practical, quick, and easy method to regain control over your emotional state, particularly useful for shifting out of anxiety . 3) Movement: Having acknowledged your emotions and utilized deep breathing to ground yourself in the present, you might still find yourself grappling with the agitation stirred by FOMO. In such moments, when anxiety feels overwhelming, introducing physical movement can be incredibly beneficial. Movement helps because when we experience emotions like anxiety, our bodies often enter a state of heightened arousal as part of the 'fight or flight' response. This state is characterized by increased energy and tension in the body. Movement allows us to use that energy, facilitating a release of tension and helping to reset our nervous system. Engaging in physical activity stimulates the production of endorphins, our body's natural mood elevators, which can have a calming effect on our mind. The type of movement that works best can vary from person to person. The key is to find a form of movement that feels good and suits your current state. It's not about intensity or duration; it's about movement as a tool to help discharge emotional activation and restore a sense of balance in your nervous system. 4) Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is the art of being kind and understanding toward ourselves, especially in times of difficulty or stress. It's about acknowledging our feelings without judgment and offering ourselves the same kindness we would to a good friend. What you need to know is that the way you feel when you are experiencing FOMO is normal. These emotions, as intense as they may be, are a normal part of the human experience. It's vital, therefore, to refrain from self-criticism or negative self-talk. And most importantly, if you're feeling urges to harm yourself in any way, please remember that there are healthier ways to find relief.
Start by taking a deep breath and acknowledging the urge is there, without judgment of self. Observe it as an outside observer might, noting its intensity and where you feel it in your body. Keep breathing deeply, anchoring yourself in the present. Remind yourself that urges are temporary; like waves, they will dissipate. As you continue to breathe and observe, you'll notice the urge losing its power, diminishing like a wave receding back into the ocean. This process empowers you to handle distress without resorting to harmful behaviours, fostering resilience and a sense of control over your emotional world." Remember, you're not in this alone. Reach out to someone you trust. - a family member, a friend, a counsellor, or a support line. Sometimes, the simple act of voicing your feelings can significantly diminish their intensity. If you have the option to reach out to a family member, this may be your opportunity to Deepen Connections: talking to them may provide you with a shift in focus, which can alleviate anxiety and fear of missing out, enabling you to value and cherish your current moment Part 3 - Creating a Positive Experience for SelfImagine this scenario: you've chosen to stay in, and initially, it feels a bit uncomfortable, maybe even boring. You might feel like you're missing out on a fun gathering with friends. But here's where that old perspective shifts: sometimes, the most rewarding company you can have is your own. Learning to enjoy your own company isn't just about passing time; it's about becoming a friend to yourself, embracing self-connection and mindfulness. And, this ability to befriend self is an essential skill. After all, you are the one constantly in your life. Embracing solitude as an opportunity for self-discovery and enjoyment is a habit worth cultivating. I've even given it a fun name for you. This transformative concept will now forever be referred to as MOMO - which stands for Mindfulness of Missing Out: where we will emphasize being mindful and present in the moments you choose for yourself, instead of worrying about what you're not participating in. Here's how to set up your time: Be Intentional
Be Realistic
Be Compassionate
I'm excited for you to move beyond the emotional distress FOMO can bring, and to experience the joy and satisfaction of befriending yourself. It's a transformative process that I believe will bring you great peace and contentment.
An Emotion Regulation Course Designed for Parents
Course DesignThe course blends mindfulness, emotion regulation, attachment theory, and brain-based parenting, and it's designed for all parents, irrespective of your children's age. There are 6 lessons and 1 guided sleep meditation. Each lesson is approximately 20 minutes in duration, and includes: - a brief informative lesson - an emotion regulation strategy - a guided practice (meditation) - a home practice suggestion Course Outline
Parenthood can be tough. And when things get tough, we can all use a bit of help. This course is about developing a healthy habit with emotion regulation so that you can handle the tough moments that come your way - it’s about rejuvenating you, the parent - so that you can re-discover, re-energize, and re-centre in the present moment.
When we approach the day with mindful awareness and the ability to settle strong emotion when it bubbles up, we are more present with others and experience greater ease in bravely showing up as our authentic self. If this sounds interesting to you, please give the course a go! Learn more and sign up for the course on the Insight Timer app, at A Heart-Centered Reset for Tired Parents  Anxious. Fearful. Hypervigilant. Panicked. Emotionally flooded. Destabilized. All these words can describe how we feel after a experiencing something traumatic. Imagine feeling that way, and then trying to work through the experience in a counselling session - it might just feel too daunting a task. Which, is why a first action item in counselling is to foster emotion regulation. Read on to learn more about how EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps decrease the experience of those emotions with regulation strategies. Often referred to as resourcing, this is a vital component of therapy and essential when it comes to embarking on the journey of healing from a traumatic experiece. Why Emotion Regulation MattersTrauma can leave deep emotional scars that affect our day-to-day lives and overall well-being. This emotional wounding can be overwhelming, often leading to intense feelings of anxiety, anger, sadness, or even numbness. Emotion regulation refers to the capacity to manage and modulate these emotions effectively. Here are a few reasons why emotion regulation is a cornerstone of trauma work, and an important first step when engaging in trauma processing:
Emotion regulation empowers individuals to face their trauma with resilience and self-compassion, ensuring that the therapeutic process is a safe and transformative one Emotion Regulation TechniquesYour therapist will work with you to cultivate emotion regulation strategies that fit for you. There are a bunch outlined throughout this blog, such as breath work, grounding, and visualization. Here are some additional techniques that can be beneficial:
Grounding Exercises: Grounding techniques, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or sensory grounding can help in anchoring to the present moment and reduce emotional overwhelm Self-compassion: Learning to connect with self-compassion and to engage in self-care can be transformative. In fact, cultivating kindness and patience with oneself is a powerful emotion regulation tool. Emotion Tracking: Keeping a journal to track and understand our emotions can be enlightening. It helps us become more aware of our emotional patterns and triggers. You don't need a formal journal, even a note on your phone will suffice. I suggest making a note of how you are feeling, the thoughts that go with it and how you are feeling in your body, and one sentence about what is going on. Alternatively, you can use an app for that, such as Insight Timer, and MindShift. The goal with tracking is to create a rhythm with noticing activation and using an emotion regulation technique to anchor back to the present and to a more settled emotional state. Seeking Support: We are social beings, and we heal in connection with others, not in isolation. Seeking connection with those trusted individuals in your life, working with a counsellor, or accessing a support group can provide you with a valuable safety network. When we work to cultivate emotion regulation, it becomes a strong foundation from which we can process traumatic experiences. It is where resilience and compassion grow from, and it is what ensures that the therapeutic process is a safe and transformative one. After all, trauma-informed therapy is all about safety, collaboration, and empowerment - understanding the impacts of trauma and walking alongside you, providing therapeutic support and building on your strengths as you embark on the courageous journey towards healing.  First sessions are all about building rapport and understanding what you are wanting from your counselling experience. If it turns out that you are interested in EMDR, then what I'll share during this article may be of interest to you! Please know that no therapy is one size fits all. There are many layers and approaches in counselling psychology and to the complex experiences people have. This information is intended to introduce you to EMDR therapy to inform your expectations prior to starting counselling. First EMDR Session: Building Trust and UnderstandingThe initial session of EMDR therapy focuses on building a strong therapeutic alliance between you and your therapist. Therapeutic alliance refers to the collaborative and trusting relationship between counsellor and client. A strong therapeutic alliance facilitates open and honest communication and ensures clients feel safe, supported, and understood, which in turn enhances the therapeutic process and outcomes. First Sessions May Look Like:History gathering: Exploring your background, any trauma experiences, and past and current symptoms. Sometimes, a symptom checklist is included (such as the PCL-5 for exploring symptoms of post-traumatic stress or the HADS for exploring symptoms of anxiety and depression). This information is important as it ensures your counselling experience is tailored to your specific needs and goals - you are in charge of sharing what feels comfortable to you. All of this information informs your therapist's case conceptualization: their understanding of your history, presenting issues, and trauma experiences you've gone through. It includes your emotional, cognitive, and somatic responses to trauma and potential challenges that may arise during the process of therapy. This detailed understanding is used to formulate a tailored approach to address your unique needs and goals. Discussion of EMDR: Your therapist will talk about the process of EMDR, how it can help, and how it can be used for both building emotion regulation skills and trauma processing. This is a great opportunity to ask questions and have a demonstration of bilateral stimulation. Establishing Safety: Feeling safe, heard, and comfortable with your therapist and within the therapeutic environment is crucial. I strive to provide a rationale for all the therapeutic approaches I use, maintain transparency with the questions I ask, and build in emotion regulation to better ensure you are prepared for future sessions. Treatment Plan: Lastly, you and your therapist will collaboratively develop a treatment plan that focuses on your goals and needs for counselling - this sets the stage for what to expect during each session. It's important to note here that life happens: while we may have a treatment plan, we can work with it flexibly if life throws you something unexpected. Your sessions are yours; therefore, your therapist might start each session by exploring anything that may have changed for you since the previous session and what you feel is important to focus on. EMDR SessionsOnce the foundation is laid in the initial session, subsequent EMDR sessions typically follow a structured process that includes the following phases: Preparation: Before delving into trauma processing, we will work on enhancing your emotion regulation skills. This phase ensures that you are equipped to handle the intense emotions that may arise during EMDR. Your therapist might teach you about the window of tolerance concept, introduce an emotions-sensations vocabulary, and describe the rating scales EMDR therapy utilizes. For example, the Subjective Units of Distress Scale (SUDS) is a self-report measurement tool used to quantify a person's emotional distress or discomfort level in response to a specific trigger or memory. It uses a 0 to 10 range, where 0 represents no distress, and 10 signifies the highest level of distress imaginable. It helps in deepening emotional and somatic awareness and tracking changes in your emotional state during sessions and over time, thus guiding the pacing of EMDR. Assessment and Desensitization: This is the heart of EMDR therapy, where we collaboratively choose a starting point and work on trauma processing. Your therapist will be your steady guide during reprocessing memories, utilizing bilateral stimulation (eye movements, sounds, or tactile sensations using the Thera-tap device), working towards desensitizing the emotional charge associated with them. During the assessment phase, you and your therapist will explore the negative self-perceptions (negative cognitions) entwined with distressing memories. These perceptions often result from one's assumptive beliefs being impacted as a result of difficult experiences. They can come to be deeply anchored in one's sense of self, making them tenaciously resistant to change. The process of letting go of these narratives can feel like venturing into uncharted territory, which can be unsettling at first. However, once a core negative belief is brought to light, your therapist will support you by gently untangling from it through connection with a positive belief, essentially rewiring the brain's pathways to embrace a more compassionate and empowering self-view. This approach fosters healing and enriches your relationship with self, opening up new possibilities for personal growth and transformation.  Installation: As the emotional distress linked to the traumatic memories decreases, you'll work on installing positive beliefs and self-perceptions to replace the negative ones. Body Scan and Closure: During this ending phase, your therapist may guide a brief body scan to address any lingering physical sensations related to the distressing memory to ensure you are grounded and connected to present-moment safety. You can debrief the session and discuss home practice suggestions for emotion regulation strategies, resourcing imagery, and positive cognitions developed during your session. Reevaluation: The subsequent session typically begins with a re-evaluation of what was previously worked on. It's a way of assessing progress to see if additional work is needed on memory to further you in moving towards your goals. A Key Feature of EMDR: Tracking the Felt Sense of EmotionOne significant difference between EMDR therapy and traditional talk therapy is how they approach the tracking of the felt sense of emotion. In traditional talk therapy, clients often describe their emotions verbally, sharing their thoughts and feelings with their therapist through conversation. In contrast, EMDR therapy places a strong emphasis on tracking the felt sense of emotion. In EMDR, you will be encouraged and guided in connecting with the bodily sensations and emotions you experience while revisiting traumatic memories. This non-verbal tracking allows for a deeper exploration of emotional experiences, which can lead to profound insights and healing. I hope you have found this outline informative. Please know that EMDR is a highly individualized approach, with many different protocols for different experiences, all of which are tailored to your unique needs and experiences. And, in life, progress may not always be linear; it's normal to have ups and downs throughout the therapy process. The key is having a trusting therapeutic alliance where we can discuss these ups and downs and continually modify your treatment plan to ensure your needs for therapy are met. Patience and self-compassion are key. Healing from trauma takes time, and EMDR is a tool that can help facilitate that process. Several brain chemicals, known as neurotransmitters, are involved in producing feelings of happiness. These include:
Overall, these brain chemicals work together to create feelings of happiness and well-being in the brain. There are some activities that when engaged in regularly, can promote the release of our brain’s natural happy chemicals. Check out the list below and see if there are some small daily activities you can add to each day to promote overall feelings of emotional well-being.
Overall, engaging in healthy activities that promote relaxation, reduce stress, and improve mood can help boost serotonin levels naturally.
Overall, engaging in activities promoting social bonding, relaxation, and physical contact can help boost oxytocin levels naturally, leading to trust, connection, and well-being. Thinking now of your daily routines and mental wellness, would any of the above suggestions fit for you?
Trying the Calmigo Smart Calming Companion I recently had the opportunity to try out Calmigo (Smart Calming Companion), an inhaler-type device that is said to “provide drug-free relief for moments of distress or anxiousness”. Check out my feedback in the video below or read on – and grab the coupon code LIVEHAPPY for $30.00 off if you are interested in purchasing the device! When I was approached to try the product, I was immediately interested due to the trauma work I do and the focus on emotion regulation that work involves. A cornerstone of any emotion regulation practice involves deliberate breathing: learning to slow and deepen the breath.
Too often we just haven’t learned to breath in a way that positively impacts our health. Without this learning, we end up taking shallow breathes, breathing rapidly, or holding our breath – all of which ramp up the physiological experience of stress in the body and do nothing to calm and sooth our mind, emotions, and body. |
AuthorSusan Guttridge is a trauma-informed Master level Counsellor with the clinical designation of Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCPA). She has 20+ years experience providing individual and group therapy. Archives
November 2025
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