SUSAN GUTTRIDGE, BC MC, CCC
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Calm Unfolding

A Blog by Susan Guttridge, EMDR Certified Therapist

Lovers to Strangers

3/1/2021

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What’s cooler than seeing your book for sale on a bookstore shelf? Seeing it appear in a movie! Check out this short film by the very talented Director Chris Di Staulo: Lovers to Strangers, on Vimeo
Chris’ latest short film brings attention to the concept of love bombing.
​

New relationships can feel intoxicating at the beginning. You want to spend all your time with the person, getting to know them and enjoying their company. You still live your life as you normally would, while nurturing the new relationship and getting a sense of how this new love interest fits into your world. Healthy romantic relationships have a solid foundation of friendship (respect, trust, and kindness). ​
Love bombing from a new dating partner can be hard to spot at first. It’s a manipulation tactic disguised as intense affection, charm, and desire. It’s used to gain your trust and love and leave you feeling as though you owe them something. Here are some tactics of love bombing to look out for:
  • Constant and intense compliments and praise and charm
  • Being showered with lavish gifts
  • Saying “I love you” very soon after meeting
  • Stating you are soul mates, that you are the only person who has ever understood them
  • Wanting commitment after only a few days or weeks of meeting
  • Constant phone calls and texts, to the point that you have little time to yourself
  • Demands a lot of your time, where you find yourself constantly changing your plans to meet their requests
  • Wants your full attention, and get angry or passive aggressive if you spend time on activities that doesn’t include them
  • Reacts with anger or passive aggressive behaviour when you implement healthy boundaries

​A healthy relationship is built on trust, and that takes time to develop. There is kindness and patience, and your needs are respected similarly as you respect theirs. Listen to your intuition and go slowly in new relationships. Don’t lose sight of you, your interests, and your support network. If a new relationship feels as though it is moving too fast, and you are being made to feel guilty or are met with anger for wanting to slow down, there may be a manipulation tactic like love bombing going on. Turn to your support network, or reach out for help from a mental health professional. 
And in the meantime, please enjoy Chris Di Staulo’s short film, Lovers to Strangers – with a special cameo appearance from my book, Calm in the Storm, A Collection of Simple Strategies You Can Use Right Now to Shift Out of Anxiety.
Learn more about Calm in the Storm, A Collection of Simple Strategies You Can Use Right Now to Shift Out of Anxiety, at the following retailers:
  • FriesenPress
  • Amazon.ca (soft cover, and eBook)
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    Author

    Susan Guttridge is a trauma-informed Master level Counsellor with the clinical designation of Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCPA). She has 20+ years experience providing individual and group therapy. 

    This blog is dedicated to all the incredibly courageous people who work towards self-awareness, growth, and healing in their daily lives.


    “As human beings, we are not problems waiting to be solved, but potential waiting to unfold”

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